Tainted
by ladyamethyst21
Summary: "It was eerily quiet, nobody tending the dragons, nobody manning the doors and, heart wrenchingly, nobody waiting to greet her, though she must have been seen as she flew in. Where was everyone? Most importantly, where was Hiccup?" Astrid returns to Berk after an away mission to find something is very wrong. A taint is about to hit the heart of Hiccstrid. T for themes/swearing
1. Chapter 1

**Sooo, I've been sitting on this story a loooooong time. If I tell you the first draft had a positive reference to Traitor *cough*** _ **ahem**_ **, Trader Johan does that tell you how long? It was meant to be a quick intro to a smutty one-shot but as I wrote it, it just seemed to get bigger and bigger and somehow lost the smut (sorry). But I had no idea where to go next so I just saved the file and walked away. Metaphorically. Except…..the story wanted to get told and kept nagging at me. Mercifully, after a conversation with a dear friend (thank you my beloved Shippy!) about the frustration of unfinished plots and some rapidly bounced ideas, I finally had a clue of its direction. So I went back, re-wrote it and here you go. Chapter One.**

 **There's an aspect of the Hiccstrid relationship I've always loved and I wanted to see what would happen if I messed with it a bit…. I don't want to say much more because Spoilers! Sweetie, but all should become clear. I'll update as often as I can and, as always, would love to hear your thoughts and comments in between chapters. Enjoy!**

 **(Just in case, the bits in italics and between the dots … are flashbacks. An o0o is a paragraph break, encouraging you to take a breath.)**

 **Tainted**

After flying for hours upon hours in frigid winds with nothing to see but floating ice and freezing ocean the tiny sliver of land peeking over the horizon was to Astrid a welcome miracle. She exhaled a long breath, grinning widely.

"Berk, Stormfly! Oh, thank Thor, it's good to see home again." At Stormfly's indignant squawk, she chuckled and reached down to pat the dragon. "Oh, don't give me that, you've been wonderful company as always but you can't tell me you haven't missed our boys. Two is great, but four is better and you know it… Woah! Girl!" Stormfly pulled back from her sudden dive and shuddered her wings, shaking Astrid until she giggled. "Now come on, I'm right! Besides, haven't the last six days have seemed like a lifetime? No dragon feeding stations, no hot springs, no beds, no _cooked food_ …the next time Hiccup wants someone to negotiate with the Backward Barbarians he can damn well send someone else to sleep in the mud, can't he?" Stormfly heartily trilled her agreement. "Come on, let's go tell him ourselves. The stables are bound to have chicken for you…" Astrid, laughing loudly, was thrown back into the saddle by the Nadder's sudden burst of speed. "That's my girl!"

Gliding quickly past the harbour statues they swooped in through the open stable door and made an elegant landing. It was eerily quiet, nobody tending the dragons, nobody manning the doors and, heart wrenchingly, nobody waiting to greet her, though she must have been seen as she flew in. Where was everyone? Most importantly, where was Hiccup? Quickly, Astrid dismounted, unsaddled Stormfly, found her a pen with plenty of fish and headed for the door. Sensing her unease, the Nadder squawked.

"I know girl, something's wrong," Astrid called over her shoulder, "just let me find out what and I'll be back with your chicken before you know it. Oh!" The sound of four familiar feet sounded in the entrance tunnel and she relaxed a little as the lithe black form of her favourite Night Fury appeared and almost knocked her down. "Toothless! It's good to see you too bud…" She reached out her hand to scratch him under the chin where she knew he liked it best "Hey! What…?" Instead of accepting the affection he grabbed her wrist in his gummy mouth and began to drag her out of the stables. She stumbled as he sped along, unable to free herself.

"Hey! Toothless? What's the matter boy? Where are we going? Where's Hiccup? Toothless! Where is Hiccup? Toothless…Toothless, stop!"

"Toothless! Drop the lassie." Gobber's rough voice boomed and his stumpy form blocked the tunnel. Toothless skidded to a halt, releasing Astrid. "She'll be nae help tae anyone if yer pull her arm off. Good lad." Sighing wearily he turned to Astrid. "And that's a whole lot'o questions to be askin' a dragon Astrid, it's nae like he can answer back."

"No," she massaged blood back into her wrist and advanced on the blacksmith, "but you can. Something is really wrong here and you're going to tell me exactly what it is. Start talking."

"Lass, now, I don't want yer tae panic, but yer need tae come up tae the Academy. Hiccup's…well, Hiccup's…"

"What? He's what? Spit it out Gobber!"

"Hiccup's been poisoned."

o0o

"Tell me exactly what happened." Astrid, attention fully on Gobber, worked Toothless' tailfin without thinking as he flew them across the village.

"It happened four days ago..."

"What?" She cut in, livid, "You should have sent for me!"

"We did lass! But if you didnae get the terror-mail, Thor alone only knows where it got tae. Those barbarians probably ate it _and_ the scroll when it arrived. Anyhow. Listen. We'd a new trader come intae port that morning, naebody'd seen him before, but he seemed decent enough and knew plenty about us. Said he was expandin' his trade routes. Anyway, he gave a gift tae Hiccup. A token, apparently, fae the Chief of Berk…"

…

 _Leaving the docks, Hiccup climbed the wooden stairs back up to the village. When he reached the top he headed towards Gobber's forge and popped his head through the shutters. He blacksmith was just visible through a cloud of smoke and sparks._

" _Gobber!" he called, "Council meeting!"_

" _Alright lad, I'm comin'" Gobber plunged the sword he was shaping into the water barrel adding steam to the smoke and obscuring himself completely. When the cloud cleared, he was standing outside, startling Hiccup who was still peering into the forge. "What are ye waiting for?"_

 _Master and old apprentice, they walked, chatting about nothing much, toward the Great Hall where the rest of the Council were waiting, Hiccup absently twirling something small and wooden in his hands_

" _What's that bit o' pretty then lad? Looks expensive."_

" _A 'token for the Chief', apparently. The new trader gave it to me, you know, the one with the green sails? What's his name...Calder? Seems there are some perks to this job after all!" Hiccup smiled, "It is pretty isn't it? I've never seen so many colours of wood in one place before, and look at how finely they're inlaid…That's real craftsmanship." He held the box up to the light, the various shades of wood making up the pattern glowing warmly in the sun. "It's a puzzle box. I haven't figured out how to get into it yet though. If I can work it out, I thought it might be a good 'welcome home' gift for Astrid, when she gets back"_

 _Mentioning his wife's name Hiccup blushed faintly and Gobber chuckled at the Chief's everlasting innocence. They arrived at the Hall doors and Gobber paused, looking out to sea and pointing._

" _I hope yer can work it out yerself then lad, that trader's sailed, look." Hiccup followed the hook. Sure enough, the boat's distinctive sails were already slipping below the horizon and disappearing from view. "Wonder what's put him in such a hurry?"_

…

"Before yer say anythin' Astrid, I _know_ it was daft tae take a gift from a stranger, but it _was_ pretty and Calder seemed a decent sort. Said he partnered sometimes wi' Trader Audun and you know how reliable Audun is. He stood a good few rounds fae the lads in the Hall too, and the goods he had, well, ye'd have tae have seen…, urk!"

He broke off as Astrid drove Toothless sharply downwards.

"Gobber. Forget the trader. _What happened to Hiccup_?"

…

 _The meeting dragged on and Hiccup found himself listening with only half an ear as he turned the box over and over in his hands. There had to be a way to make it open… Pressing parts of the pattern brought no results; neither did trying to slide the panels. Finally, he gripped one end in each hand and twisted. There was a loud 'click', Hiccup yelped and the box clattered to the table._

" _Lad? Are yer alright?"_

 _Hiccup held out shaking hands, both palms weeping red from deep circular punctures in the centre. He waved vaguely at the fallen box, and Gobber gingerly picked it up to show each end now sporting a short, wicked-looking spike. Under the film of blood dripping from each pin, a green coating was clearly visible. Hiccup, suddenly pale, swallowed hard._

" _Actually Gobber, I really rather think I might be in trouble."_

…

"Booby trapped," Gobber stated flatly. "Poisoned needles. Everyone panicked at first, but then nothin' seemed tae happen. Hiccup was fine. He was! Business as usual, fer a good half-day anyway, until the symptoms started tae show. We took the box tae Gothi then o'course but it took her a while t'figure out what it was and by that time he was…."

Toothless touched down gently by the Academy. All around on the observation platforms Hooligans were gathered in small, silent groups, all staring down to the arena floor. Some leaned heavily on their neighbours, a couple were sporting stained bandages and Tuffnut was standing close by Ruff and Snot, his arm trussed up in a sling. Across the arena, Valka looked up as they landed, her face drawn and lined. She half-raised her hand in greeting but before they could step in her direction her gaze swung back to the Academy floor like a nail to a lodestone. Astrid's stomach lurched. She'd only seen that desolate look on Valka's face once before and the memory made her swallow hard. From the academy below, alarming animalistic noises rose, along with strange, meaty thuds. Ignoring Toothless as he raised his hackles and growled Astrid slipped from the saddle and turned to pull Gobber angrily down after her.

"Gobber! For the love of Loki, _what happened to Hiccup_?"

He waved his hook wearily toward the arena.

"He's down there. See f'yourself."

o0o

Cautiously, Astrid crept to the edge of the platform, heart hammering, afraid to look. What was down there? Hiccup in pain? Passed out? Sick? Surely nothing worse, or Gobber would have said, wouldn't he? She braced herself as she peered through the fence and was still not prepared. Below, Hiccup stood surrounded by three huge Hooligans. They were circling him warily and, judging by the sweat dripping from every brow and the exhausted lines of their faces, whatever was happening had been happening for a while. Hiccup, though, was different. His unruly auburn mop was similarly plastered down to his head and his tunic clung wetly to his back, but while the other men looked near collapse, he bristled with a palpable energy. Panting lightly he whipped his head back and forth, keeping an eye on each of the Vikings surrounding him, stance strong, fists raised. But his face. It was his face that made Astrid's heart drop. Hiccup's usual, amiable smile was wiped away. In its place was an unwavering stare, nothing like any expression she'd ever seen him wear. It was dark, black and glinted dangerously as it shifted from target to target, lips below drawn back in a mocking snarl, teeth bared. It was the face of a predator eyeing prey.

"What in Thor's name….?" she turned to Gobber but a sudden movement below caught her eye as one of the huge Vikings rushed Hiccup from behind. She leapt forward and began to gasp out a warning,

"Shit, Hic…!"

But he didn't need it. As the big man ran forward with outstretched arms to catch him in a bear hug grip Hiccup spun effortlessly on his heel and drove his right elbow deep into the Viking's guts then, when the hulk collapsed forward, winded, snapped his fist up to smash the unguarded nose. Bright blood splattered down Hiccup's arm and across his face as he laughed, the sound full of harsh, incongruous joy. Astrid recoiled but couldn't look away. As that opponent staggered away, another, thinking to take advantage of the distraction, was quickly reminded that his Chief was a leftie as a massive punch landed solidly under his jaw sending him down with a dazed expression that would have been comical in different circumstances. Hiccup eyed the final man. Or, at least what Astrid had thought was the final man until, unbelievably, the gates of the arena lifted to allow the two injured Hooligans to drag themselves out of the ring and two others walked in, apparently in to take their places. Facing the fresh men of his tribe the Chief merely laughed again, this time a vicious low chuckle, cracked his knuckles and resumed his ready stance.

Astrid, riveted to the melee continuing below, placed a palm flat on Toothless' head where he had joined her at the rail, whining piteously. It seemed unreal. How could that…that vicious … _fighter_ … down there be Hiccup? _Her_ Hiccup?

"Ah lads," Gobber murmured from beside her, "I keep telling yer, avoid the left hand. He looks small the boy does, but he is a blacksmith. There are muscles hidden in those stringy lookin' arms."

The commentary jolted Astrid out of her trance and she turned on Gobber, grabbing a fistful of his sweaty linen shirt. "Explain," she hissed. "Explain and explain now."

Gobber sighed. "Ah Astrid, it's the poison. Like I said, it started t'take effect a few hours later. At first he was just out o'sorts. Snappish like. Temper. Biting off heads, like. Then things got worse."

…

" _Hiccup, I need tae talk tae yer. What in Odin's name did yer say tae Sven about his sheep? The poor man cannae stop crying!"_

" _Go away Gobber, I'm busy." The voice was low, toneless. Gobber stared, taking in the figure of Hiccup sat scrunched on a stool in a corner of his house, facing the wall, clutching a heavy mead tankard, tension clear in the lines of his shoulders. Gobber scoffed._

" _Oh, busy is it? Tae busy t'be tactful? I know Sven's a pain but that flock is his pride and joy, and yer know that, just…"_

" _I said go away, Gobber, leave me alone."_

" _I'll not lad. Yer need to get up and go apologise…."_

" _Go away, I mean it."_

" _I'm going nowhere 'til you've…"_

" _Go! Away!" Hiccup sprang to his feet and rounded on Gobber, eyes glassy, his face livid and suffused with rage. Prodding him hard in the chest almost as punctuation Hiccup backed the blacksmith towards the door. "How hard would it be for you to just. Do. As. You're. Fucking. Told? For once? Just do what I damn well SAY!"_

 _With a grimace and surprising force he threw his mead tankard, just missing Gobber's head. It met the opposite wall, falling to pieces with a loud crash that seemed to rouse Hiccup. He shook his head rapidly as if to clear it. Gobber's astonished stare led him to the scattered wood fragments and deep dent in the far wall. He blinked. "Gobber? What happened?"_

…

"That was the start. But it was when he tried tae throttle Spitelout over where exactly the winter stores should b'kept this year that we knew somethin' was really wrong. Eret had to knock him cold to get his hands off Spitelout's throat. Not that I'll say I havenae been tempted tae do the same tae Spitelout in the past… But that's by the by" he added hastily as he caught Astrid's furious glare. "It's the poison lovey, that's what it does. Hits the part of yer brain that makes yer aggressive and stokes it up until its burnin' yer from inside. It feeds off yer inner demons Gothi says. It's 'fight or flight', except 'flight' isn't an option. He cannae help it, he just has to fight somethin'. It comes in fits and starts, one minute he'll be fine and the next, spittin' fury. He cannae control much about what he does when the fever's got him and his lucid times are getting shorter. It started wi' Spitelout and just got worse when he came round again from Eret's punch, nae man in the village could speak tae him, everything was a threat or an insult. Eventually we had tae bring him here, dinnae look at me like that, it was his idea! It seems the poison lends yer some strength too, and sharpens yer reflexes, and you'll understand on Hiccup, that's deadly. He was sharp enough before but now, he's lightnin'. The Academy's the only place with enough bars tae keep him under control until he comes tae himself again. Or as under control as it gets."

…

" _Hiccup, you've got t'be kiddin'," Gobber pleaded, "there must be somethin' else we can dae!"_

 _A chorus of agreement ran round the Great Hall, no-one wanted to see their Chief locked up, even at his own command. Hiccup, slumped wearily as Valka wiped dried blood from his knuckles, looked so small and tired, so much just , well, Hiccup, that it was hard to believe he could be any real danger to his own tribe, despite the violent changes of mood they'd seen. It wasn't right, it upset the natural order of Berk. Hiccup, however, had no such qualms._

" _No." he shook his head firmly. "I can't think of anything right now, and I don't know how long I'll be myself for. We have to keep people safe, even if it's from me. The Academy has bars too high for me to climb, and heavy doors. Until Gothi comes up with an antidote, that's where I have to be."_

 _Valka paused, wringing out the cloth into basin. The water in it was tinged dark pink._

" _It does seem a bit drastic son. Couldn't we just…"_

" _Drastic?" Hiccup barked, jumping to his feet. "Drastic? I dislocated Tuffnut's arm, Mom! Me! Because he jostled me in the street! Did you hear me? He bumped me by accident and I pulled his fucking arm_ _out of its socket_ _!"_

 _Valka recoiled and several Hooligans took a pace forward, big hands ready to hold Hiccup back if they had to. Seeing the movement, Hiccup took a breath, visibly gathered himself and sat down heavily. Valka cautiously patted his hand._

" _It wasn't you, Hiccup, it was the poison, we all understand that."_

" _It was me. Poison be buggered, it_ _was_ _. I can remember how his joint popped under my hand. And I'd say I didn't want to do it, but I know that at the time I damn-well did. I did! I saw it all, heard it all, felt it all and I didn't stop myself. I couldn't! You have to understand, Mom, Gobber, all of you. I'm barely holding it back now. It's like a storm brewing under my skin and the lightning could strike anyone, any minute. Please. Just do what I'm telling you. For everyone's sake. Until we find the cure. Get the dragons out of the academy and lock me up."_

 _The procession down to the arena was quiet but quick. Hiccup's last attack had been some time ago now and everyone was counting the minutes. At the Academy gates, the tribe paused as Hiccup shakily accepted a chorus of reassurances and said a few goodbyes. He apologised again to Tuffnut (who declared himself totally cool with the incident because apparently the noise his shoulder had made had been awesome enough to be worth the pain. Ruffnut agreed wholeheartedly), kissed his Mother on the forehead, shook hands with Snot and Eret. Finally, reaching Gobber, he hugged him hard and spoke low into his ear._

" _Astrid…"_

" _She'll be on her way back now lad. As soon as she gets here I'll bring her down tae you. Don't worry about…"_

" _No." Hiccup was firm. "Don't. No. I won't risk her and I don't want her seeing me like this. Is that clear? Think of something to tell her. Keep Astrid away." Drawing himself up tall he turned to the empty ring and strode forward, calling over his shoulder. "I'll see you all soon then." And the heavy iron grille closed behind him._

…

"That was the day before yesterday. He's been in there ever since."

Astrid head spun. Obviously Gobber had decided to ignore Hiccup's order regarding her, thank Freyja, but there would be time to thank him later.

"Who would…and how? How is all this possible? And why isn't Toothless with him? Surely Toothless could bring him round! If Hiccup can bring him back from the Bewilderbeast, Toothless can help Hiccup, they're always better together, we all know that! Rider and Dragon, it's how we work!"

Beside her the black dragon rumbled his agreement but Gobber ruefully shook his head.

"We don' know who. Snot and Gustav headed out after the trader soon as it happened, but they didnae find a sign of him. He could ha' come from almost anywhere, lass. Drago couldnae have been the only one after the ruling the world, and Hiccup's an obstacle tae that sort of plan, eh? Someone wants Hiccup gone, maybe wants him tae disgrace himself on the way. The voice of peace in the archipelago showin' such violence? Discredits all his work. It's as clever as it is twisted."

Astrid opened her mouth but he cut her off.

"I know, I know, it was stupid tae take the bloody box, but it looked harmless, and you know how Hiccup is for a puzzle. And as for the 'how' and why we're keepin' Toothless out, it's the same thing. We cannae risk the dragons being exposed to the poison. Gothi's looked at the dart; it's been coated with somethin' brewed from those evil bloody leeches, the Grimora. Remember those?"

"Shit."

She certainly did remember. Back when they were living at Dragon's Edge with the rest of the gang she'd persuaded Hiccup to let them take a holiday on an unexplored island with a beautiful lagoon. It had turned out to be a mistake, as they discovered when venomous leeches, the Grimora, had latched onto their dragons and turned them feral. The dragons had ended up hunting their riders, only stopping when the leeches were driven off by salt water. It made perfect sense then, keeping Toothless away. Nobody needed feral dragons again, especially not now, and especially not a Night Fury. Astrid thought furiously. The leeches didn't bite humans she knew, but apparently that didn't stop humans being affected by the venom. But if it was Grimora…

"Salt water!" she exclaimed, "Gobber! Salt water!"

"Was the first thing we tried lass! D'ya think I'm daft? Apparently it dosenae work if you have the venom but nae the leech itself. Bucket broke a finger finding that one out."

Disappointment tinged her voice. "Right, of course you tried. So why all this? Why are you fighting him? Getting all these men hurt? Why not leave him in there if he's 'controlled'? Why not just let it wear off?"

Gobber sighed. "Because it won't. And because he needs it." he answered, pain lacing his voice, "We cannae have him roaming Berk when these fits come, but turns out we cannae leave him alone either. We did, at first, like he asked. But we soon found out the poison doesnae give an easy out like that. If he's got naeone tae fight, he fights himself. He did a bunch o'stupid things when he was in there alone, climbed the walls, messed with the weapons. Cut himself a few times, when he couldnae do anything else." Gobber's face twisted at Astrid's horrified gasp. "It's the rage lass, he's got tae punish somethin'. So. Here we are. This was Eret's idea, clever really. He set up a rota o'men fae Hiccup tae fight, keeps him busy."

The primal grunts and growls, which sounded so much worse to her now that she knew they came from Hiccup showed just how busy he was being kept at that moment. As did the relentless dull thumps of fist smacking into flesh. They both winced.

…

" _Eret!" Gobber yelled, "Come out o'there!"_

 _The big ex-trapper shook his head, sweat flying across the ring, blue chin tattoos dark against his scarlet face. "No thanks Gobber. We're having a good time, aren't we Chief?"_

 _Hiccup snorted mirthlessly. "I am. Not sure about you though." He feinted right then darted left, landing a solid knuckle punch to Eret's shoulder, making that arm drop nerveless. Eret swore._

" _That is enough, Eret! Get out! Someone else take him for a while"_

 _Eret shook his head again. "Nope Gobber. Hiccup's helped me more times than I can count. This is my chance to help him. I'm not coming out until I absolutely have to." Sick determination on his face, he raised his working fist and faced his friend._

…

"He's a brave lad that one. Three hours he took Hiccup's punishment. O'course, that was yesterday afternoon, now the poison's effects are further in his system one man alone doesnae last that long so they're tackling him in teams. We've nae shortage of volunteers and Gothi's nearby tae tend anyone who needs it."

The dull resignation on his face terrified her, and it must have shown.

"Naebody's been hurt bad lass, especially not Hiccup, it's just, it's just hard. Hard to see through to the end."

Astrid swallowed and although she dreaded the answer, asked the only question. "And exactly how does this end Gobber? Does Gothi know?"

Gobber suddenly looked old. Older than she'd ever imagined he could, his face grey and slack.

"Aye, Gothi knows. She's read about it. We have tae force the poison's hold on Hiccup tae break. Like sweatin' out a fever ye ken, getting the patient hotter and hotter 'til it gives way. In Hiccup's case it's the rage we have t'build, stoke it up until it breaks. That's another reason for the fightin', we're tryin' tae push the poison-fever up so he can beat it. If we can get him tae the crisis point and past it, he'll be fine. If we cannae…." His voice broke.

Hers shook. "What if we can't?"

"Then he dies, Astrid. Gets hurt fightin', hurts himself. Or his heart just gives out. But that's it. If we cannae break the poison's hold, one way or another, Hiccup's dead."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for your reviews and a massive especial thank you to all those of you who took time to write such detailed reviews, it means so much to hear exactly what you liked about a chapter and what interested you. I appreciate it so much, you'll never know. Hugs to you all!**

 **TheWatchingEye – I hope this fulfils your curiosity…**

 **ShipMistress – more voodoo please! And I'm glad you liked it xxx**

 **CajunBear73 – yep, CBW indeed. And you'll have to judge how it feels…**

 **Katveena – sorry the cute didn't happen when you expected, but hurrah you enjoyed it and found him in-character. Sorry for the long wait!**

 **Razor95 -love the hulk reference** **, have to say the stakes are about to get higher.**

 **Drachenmdchen – thank you for the lovely detailed review, I don't speak German at all but thankfully have a brilliant friend who could translate your comments. I'm so grateful for your re-reading and spotting the details, I wouldn't let him die, would I?**

 **IcyForest – I'm glad you were surprised! Thanks for the details, the Spitelout scene was one of my favourite bits to write, and I'm a sucker for some heroic-type Eret. So, here's the scene you've been waiting for, I hope it is a favourite.**

 **Guest – Aw, thanks, unique is what I was hoping for. And your idea is great, though not quite where this is going. I hope you enjoy another direction.**

 **Valkyrie – You want it, you got it. And you're right, she does know where to jab when she has to. And she has to now, enjoy!**

 **Wow, well, apologies for how long this chapter has taken, it was hard to write and turned into a bit of beast. Plus real life, you know? I hope you'll think it was worth it! (let me know!)**

 **I did forget to say last time that this is set after HTTYD2 (and maybe 3? Who knows….) and I do envision them as married. I've referenced a lot of canon in this and a HUGE thank you goes out to the wonderful ShipMistress – have you read her stuff yet? Why not?- for all her help with that. You're sensational Shippy! I've also made one tiny reference to the books and a cheeky rtte6 callout, have fun spotting those!**

 **Reviews and comments are my meat and drink, every single one adored and appreciated!**

 **So, things are about to get even more serious. Hiccup has one final chance and, of course, it's Astrid. I guess you've been waiting for this.**

 **Chapter Two**

Astrid screwed her eyes shut for a second, as if the dark would blank out Gobber's answer. Absolutely not. It was totally unacceptable. Unthinkable! A world without Hiccup in it? She fought down the rising nausea. No. No way. Not going to happen. Not while she had breath in her body. There had to be a way.

"Gobber!" the shout came from below, "He's down!"

"Shit!" Gobber exclaimed. "Astrid lass, that means he's come back t'himself, for now anyway. And that means it didnae work. Again. Aw fer Thor's sake!" He slammed his hook into his palm and hunched over, a little ball of agony. Finally, he breathed deep them drew himself together. "Right. We dinnae ken how long we'll have this time, so we'd best get him fed if we can, before the next round. We might only have a wee bit o' time so we'd best make the most of it. Come on."

He turned for the Academy gate but Astrid gripped his arm.

"What is it lass? We dinnae have much time, I have tae…"

"Gobber," she dropped his name like a hammer. "This. This is _stupid_. Fighting? _Actual_ physical fighting? Do you _really_ think this is going to work?"

"Astrid, I've told yer, we have tae…"

"I know!" Astrid exclaimed, "I know, you said. We have to drive the rage up to break it. I get it. But this? Fighting? Letting him beat the Hel out of himself and his own tribe? For _fuck's sake_! That's never going to work! This is _Hiccup_. Hiccup _Haddock_. Don't you _know_ it won't work? Odin's beard, Gobber, have you even _met_ him?"

Gobber slumped. "Lass, we've done our best. What idea d'ye have? What would y' have us do?"

She met his affronted look squarely, eyes like blue flint. "What you should have done four fucking days ago. You give him to me."

o0o

Astrid faced the door to the small room at the back of the arena, the one Hiccup usually used as an office but today was a bolthole for what rest he could snatch. The wood blurred in front of her eyes and she blinked, swallowed to force down the Terrible Terrors swooping in her stomach. Slowly she drew in a long breath, steeling herself. Above, Toothless whined high and thin and she smiled somewhat shakily up at him.

"It's okay T, its okay, I'll sort this. I'll get him back for us, alright? I promise."

Looking back to the door she closed her eyes. Astrid had never been hugely bothered about religion; the gods were just, well, _there_. Part of everyday life, largely silent and taken for granted. That said, she'd always taken part in their festivals, done her share towards their offerings and if ever there was a moment to call in a favour, surely it was now.

"Father Odin," the prayer was murmured, barely more than a breath, "Allfather, let this idea be the right one, gift me your wisdom. Mighty Thor, lend me the power to face what I have to do, Magni give me strength to do it. Freyja, lady mother, you know how much I love him. Please, please let me keep him…." She paused, hesitant to call on the one God she'd never felt easy with. But…she sighed. Desperate times. "Loki, these may be the biggest lies I ever have to tell. Trickster, lend me your sharp tongue. Let them find their mark. For the future of Berk. For your people. For Hiccup."

The handle was cold and unforgiving, turning slowly under her hand.

"Lass," Gobber stopped her, "Are ye sure? I mean…"

Her stare killed the question in his mouth.

"Aye. Right. So be it. What would y'have me do then?"

"Get our house ready for Hiccup to come home. Or ready two longships for the journey to Valhalla. You'll know which."

"Lass…"

"Gobber. Those are the only two options I'm accepting."

"Alright then."

With one last clasp of her hand he stumped off towards the gate.

"Feeds on your demons does it?" Astrid whispered to herself. "Well, Hiccup has plenty of those. Let's go wake them up."

She opened the door.

Inside, it was dim and cloyingly hot. Sweat broke out instantly on her skin, courtesy of the giant fire burning brightly in the hearth. Where was Hiccup? Not at the table, not in the chair. Finally she spotted him, sleeping restlessly on the rug before the hearth, eyes closed and arms flung wide. He looked, to put it bluntly, wrecked. An angry bruise bloomed across one cheekbone, the other was eye swollen, blackening. All the skin she could see was mottled with a rainbow of other bruises, one leg lay awkwardly twisted, he burned red with fever. And he'd lost so much weight. Even through his tunic she could see the difference. What little softness he'd carried had burned away in the last four days leaving the planes of his face spare and stark where the fire flickered shadows across it. Astrid wanted to scoop him up, hold him and never let go ever again.

"What? I'll show you …"

Hiccup snarled and turned in his sleep and Astrid's heart leapt, started hammering. That was the reminder she needed. She couldn't lose focus, mustn't forget what she'd seen in the arena. Hiccup like this could be deadly. And she had a job to do.

Grabbing a mug from the table she stood over him and, whispering another quick plea to Loki, dropped it in the centre of his chest.

"Whaaaa…?" His eyes flew open as the mug bounced off and he shot up looking around frantically.

Astrid forced a mocking smile onto her face. "Rise and shine Haddock! Time to talk! Tell me, what the Hel is this yakshit?"

"Astrid?" Hiccup's smile was heart-breakingly bright at first, but as he woke properly it clouded uncertainly. "No, no, you're not mean to be here, I told Gobber, I _said_ , you couldn't be here."

She snorted "Oh, I bet you did, I just bet you did. That's why you sent me away in the first place isn't it? To negotiate with the bloody Backward Barbarians? Needed me out of the way didn't you?"

"What? No, that's not…" he started to struggle to his feet, "Astrid, you can't…ah!"

Astrid grabbed him by the shirt front, hauled him to his feet, pulled his face down to hers and glared.

"Don't you fucking tell me what I can't," she spat, flinging him back so he stumbled, almost fell over the hearth, "Four days I spent sleeping in damp wool and eating raw mutton, all so you could pull this nonsense? You knew I'd see though your yakshit didn't you?"

"Astrid!" he pleaded "I have no idea what you're talking about! _What_ yakshit?"

"This!" She waved a hand derisively, taking in his battered form, the dim room, the locked door. " _This_ yakshit Hiccup. Poisoned. Turned into some sort of rage monster, some sort of fighter? You? Yakshit! You knew I'd see right through such a pathetic story. The question is, why are you telling it?"

Hiccup straightened up, the slightest edge hardening his voice. "Astrid, you have to leave, talk to Gobber…."

She laughed. "I have talked to Gobber, he obviously buys it, but not me. So, come on, what's all this about?"

"I can't….I haven't got time…" His voice dropped lower again and she saw his stance beginning to widen, his hands curl reflexively into fists, "I can't hold…You have to go!"

"No way." Astrid stepped toward him, planting her feet wide, mirroring him. "Show me what all this fuss is about."

"Get back."

She stepped closer again. "Show me."

His fists clenched tight. "Get back…"

Another step and they were almost toe to toe. "Show me."

Hiccup dragged in a ragged breath. He was blazing hot and practically vibrating with the effort of holding himself in check. He growled, "I said.. get back!"

"And I said SHOW ME!" Yelling, Astrid drew back her arm and swung, putting all her fears behind the blow. The slap rang loud in the small room and he rocked back. For a moment there was silence then Hiccup lifted his head, touched a finger to his split lip, hissed when he found the blood there. Eyes gone dark, he asked, low and dangerous, "What exactly did you want to see?"

There it was, that black-eyed stare, the razor-sharp smile she'd seen in the arena. For a moment Astrid quailed inside. Gods, he looked deadly. But then, surely, that had to mean her plan could work. She'd raised the demon, now she had to deal with it. Just please, gods, let it work. Swallowing the lump in her throat and forcing a casual air, she walked carefully back to the table.

"Oh, just whatever shit you were trying to pull," she answered, nonchalantly taking a drink from the heavy pitcher there, "Is this it?" she gestured vaguely at all of him, "Is this as good as it gets, Haddock? Really?"

"Astrid…" the hiss of her name raised the hairs on her arms but she pressed on.

"It's no wonder you wanted me out of the way, honestly. But I think I get it now. This is your way out isn't it? You never wanted to be Chief, so you've come up with this ridiculous way to worm out of it! _Oh, no, Hiccup's gone crazy_ …" she mocked, " _he can't possibly be Chief now,_ oh dear, we'd better let him go on his merry way and just fly about exploring the world like he's always wanted, what a shame, boo hoo. And then you get to dump your responsibilities and head off into the sunset. Well." She took another swallow, though the water threatened to stick in her throat. "You could have just done that anyway. Why didn't you just leave? It's not like anyone here really needs you."

"Astrid…" he took a step forwards and she forced herself to stay still.

"No, I mean it. Who needs you here? Really? Who are you after all? Just Hiccup the Useless."

He blinked at the use of the old childhood taunt, snapped, "No-one calls me that."

"No, of course they don't." She flashed him a brilliant grin, "Not to your face anyway."

He grimaced, "No-one…"

"I mean really though," Astrid interrupted quickly. She had to keep him listening, not talking, not thinking. She didn't want reason, she wanted rage. "when have you ever been anything else? Born too early, scrawny little thing, even your own Mother decided you weren't the bother. Yeah, we all thought she'd been eaten by a dragon, but now we know that wasn't true, don't we? She went pretty willingly, as it turns out. And faced with a lifetime of raising as poor a prospect as you, who wouldn't? Dragon fodder or lumbered with little Useless, I know what I'd have chosen."

Hiccup froze like a man dropped in icy water, shuddered and took several angry paces forwards eyes stormy, "That's not what happened!"

Her raised hand stopped him mid-step, close enough that she could hiss the rest in a whisper, "And that's not the worst of it, is it, Hiccup? She didn't only leave you, _she never came back_. She wasn't eaten, wasn't hurt and she _never came back_. All those years when she knew dragons weren't really a threat, when she knew they could be befriended, that they weren't really a danger to Berk and still, she _never came back_."

They weren't her words but his, words he'd shared in the dark voids of long sleepless nights following Stoick's death and Valka's return, when he'd cried for both his parents and she'd cradled, stroked his hair and let him weep,

"She never came back for me Astrid," he'd sobbed, "and she could have, she _could_ have! All these years when I needed her and she never came for me! Why? Why did she never come? Was I not a good enough reason? _Why_?"

It had been a privilege to be there for him then, to hold him when he needed to fall apart and fold his secret fears into her own. But now she mined them, those sweet, sacred moments, used his own words as ammunition. It was despicable.

"She never came back for you because she realised what everyone else already knew. You weren't a proper Viking, not worth the trouble of raising you. What else could it have been? Your poor father, maybe without you perhaps he could have had his wife back…I wonder how much happier he would have been?"

The lunge was sudden when it came, but she was ready. Hiccup sprang, snarling, she swung the pitcher full force at his chest forcing him to catch it and stumble and used that moment to skitter quickly round the table, putting it between them. Her heart hammered, making her breath come quick. Gods, he'd been so much faster than she expected! Hiccup flung the pitcher across the room, smashing it against the wall in a shower of drops and splinters.

"I don't know what you're doing Astrid," he said, leaning low, both palms flat to the wood. He was breathing fast too but his smile was smooth, sharp at the edges as he eyed her appraisingly. Her skin crawled, she struggled not to show it.

"I don't know what you're doing. But I suggest you stop it. I've broken men's arms for less than that. Ask Tuffnut. But don't want to…No. I won't hurt you." The lascivious tone suggested he might have other ideas for her; the idea was unthinkable. Not like this! She had to distract him.

"Can't" she snapped crisply, clicking the 't'.

"What?"

"It's not _won't_ hurt me," she scoffed "it's _can't_. Come on, you? Skinny little runt of a fishbone, muscles like knots in wet string. Check your lip, whose blood is that? Not mine. I've been pinning you since we were old enough to walk. You couldn't beat me then, you couldn't beat me now."

He took a few paces slowly around the table's edge, moving with a predator's grace.

"Is that a fact?"

Astrid matched him, circling the table, using the distance as a shield. "You want to try me? Really? It won't go well for you. I mean, come ooon, how many times have you gotten yourself kidnapped? Or captured? Tied up and thrown in the hold of a ship or a cage, waiting for someone else to rescue you? Bested over and over again by real Vikings." She pitched her taunts low, claimed his focus and saw his cheeks darken with rising blood. "If you couldn't beat _them_ , do you really think you could take _me_ down?"

"Astrid. Stop it." The command came out strained and Hiccup's fingertips were white as he dug them into the planks of the tabletop. The look on his face, a dark mix of anger and bewilderment tore at her resolve. She _was_ hurting him. But wasn't that what she wanted? She made herself continue, her tongue a knife in her mouth.

"Why? Do you want to prove I'm wrong? Or do you want to run away again? You do that so well, after all. All those 'missions' off Berk, all those flights off on your own, always searching for something new, a way out of your responsibilities. As if we needed any more of your waifs and strays to take care of. Serving your own agenda, neglecting your responsibilities?" Hiccup opened his mouth but she ploughed on again, not daring to let him talk. "No, shut up, you know I'm right. How many times have you risked the safety and future of Berk by flying off to 'take care of things' yourself? Remember the Island of Night? Training those Whispering Deaths? Itchy Armpit? And how many other times? Plenty. And always you got out by blind luck or someone pulling your arse out of the fire. Me, Stoick, the Riders? Even bloody Dagur for Thor's sake." Shaping her voice into a sneer she leaned as close as she dared. "Like I said, not a proper Viking are you? So, if you're this desperate to leave us, you can. Berk needs a _real_ Chief, and you _never_ have been one!"

His hand flashed across the planks, swifter than a Speed Stinger, grabbing for her wrist. Gasping, she snatched it back out of reach but not before his clawing fingers scored deep lines across the back of her hand. Shit! The world rocked, Odin, that was Hiccup, and Odin, it hurt! But she was the woman who punched a Slitherwing and she wasn't going to fold at the first pain. Instead, she grinned.

"Oh, nearly sweetie, nearly, but…not quite." Lifting her hand she made a show of examining the red trail weeping down her wrist, always matching his pace round the table, then wriggled her fingers at him, laughing. "Hesitated didn't you? Still, should I be surprised? Isn't hesitating your thing? Should be your middle name really, Hiccup Hesitating Haddock the Third. Has quite a ring to it, don't you think?"

There was a loud thunk and several plates jumped as Hiccup crashed his fist onto the table. "Astrid, you really need to _shut the fuck up_ ," he hissed through gritted teeth, "right _fucking_ now or…"

"Or?" she spat back, "one of your favourite words, isn't that right Haddock? Or, maybe, if, might, perhaps…Odin's beard, so many fuck ups! I mean really, how long did it take to take down Alvin? Or Dagur? How much of my childhood did I spend following you around on some stupid-ass mission that could have been avoided if you'd just _acted_ instead of always trying to be clever? Not that all your planning and clever-clogs showing off got you anywhere either, did it? Let me see…" she counted the list theatrically on her fingers, lacing her voice with sarcasm and disgust. "So, you actually led a Skrill to Dagur, you lost the Flightmare to Viggo, you lost the Dragon Eye, oh, how many times? You lost Berk's gold, you lost your chance to play the Grimborns off against each other and instead got played by _both_ of them, you led the team into danger more times than I can count and got most of us injured along the way - even Toothless, as if losing a tail wasn't enough of a price to pay for knowing you! You followed Johan's ruse and left the Edge undefended, same with Berk and _that_ left my parents homeless, you flew right into the ambush which almost got Dagur killed, you failed to protect Defenders of the Wing Island, you failed to see the Dragon Eye lens on Heather's belt, though you have to admit, that was so stupid as to be almost _funny_ , and don't even get me _started_ on what happened with Johan and Krogan…."

Every time he'd ever made even the tiniest mistake. Every time he'd ever second-guessed himself or his judgement, every doubt he'd ever confided in her, she shaped them each into a blade and flung them at his heart, relentless. Each moment she listed felt like a piece flayed from her own hide, but what else was there to do? As each hit landed she saw him flinch and the impossible tension in his body ratchet up yet another notch, jaw clenched and shoulders tight, and that was what _had_ to happen! Every time he'd blamed himself for a loss, or an injury, even those that weren't his fault, _especially_ those that weren't his fault, she took those private conversations and sharpened them, scattered the thorns at his feet. Still he circled, picking up the pace and she sped up too, carried on, twisting the history of their lives round her words like a corkscrew until it was unrecognisable because his face was a storm, his chest heaving and she had, _had to_ , make him _break._ Her clothes were soaked, her heart raced and her mouth was thick with the taste of lies and bile but if the venom flooding from her tongue was the only way to beat the venom in his veins then she could swallow back her revulsion and keep spewing. To get Hiccup back, anything.

It was working, Astrid could see it was working, the fights in the arena hadn't affected him anywhere near as much as this. There just needed to be more. Another wound had to re-open. The deepest. She faked an air of surprise.

"Oh and of course, your biggest mistake. You know which one I mean. The one that cost the most…Drago Bludvist."

"Enough."

The threat in his tone was hard and clear but Astrid pretended not to notice it. "Enough? What's the matter? Don't you want to be reminded how badly you failed that day? How you should have listened to everyone and stayed on Berk to protect it? How you dragged people you claimed to _love_ into a _war_? How you decided to play peacekeeper instead of being a Chief and how others had to pay the price? How…"

"I said _enough_!" This time Hiccup's shout could have rivalled Thor's thunder and the air between them crackled with the lightning of the words still unspoken. Well, she would have to be the metal that brought them to the ground. So.

"How selfishly following your own fucking agenda dragged the rest of us into harm's way and," Astrid stared straight into his black, unblinking eyes and hurled the words as loud and hard and harsh as she could, "and how you hesitating to act, _again_ , refusing to kill Drago when you could easily have done, _talking_ while others were _fighting_ , put Stoick, our Chief, your own _father_ , straight into the line of fire and got him _killed_?"

For a long, long moment the room was still, as if even the sputtering fire held its breath. Then, in a whisper full of disgust Astrid slammed the blade home.

"You might as well have murdered him yourself."

The sound Hiccup made was nothing human. It was a howl of rage and loss and pain and betrayal and it cut Astrid through to the bone, so that she was too slow as he roared over the table towards her. The first blow took her in the stomach, driving the breath out of her lungs and folding her in half, the second smashed into her shoulder sending numbness running down her arm. Astrid staggered back gasping, crashing into the heavy chair. Grabbing the wooden backrest she whipped it round to fend him off but Hiccup wrenched it from her failing fingers and slammed it to the floor, smashing it to flinders. She slipped sideways just in time, evading his grip by millimetres but he pursued her relentlessly. Growling, grunting wordlessly all the while, Hiccup followed her round the room, round and round the table, a distorted perversion of the children's rhyme. His eyes never left her for a second. In the smothering heat and the flickers of the fire-lit shadows it was easy to believe that a demon hunted her and Astrid knew she was fighting for both their lives. Hiccup lunged again, this time grabbing a hold of her injured wrist but before he could pull her closer into his grip she hurled herself forward and smashed her forehead into his cheekbone with a sickening crack. The already swollen skin split and burst like a rotten plum showering her with hot blood. It loosened his hold for a split second and Astrid tore free. She turning to run for space but the liquor was in her eyes and, blinded, she crashed hip-first into the sharp corner of the table and lost her opportunity. Hiccup was on her instantly, pushing her back against the table's edge, hands bracketed around her body and smile crimson with the blood sheeting down his cheek. Knowing there was no way out forwards, Astrid threw herself back onto the table, gaining just enough room to curl up her legs, plant her feet and kick him squarely in the chest. Slammed back, he crashed heavily into the wall and she _ran_ , but she had taken only a few steps before strong arms grabbed her from behind. Hiccup squeezed her tight, laughing mockingly, but Astrid refused to panic. Instead, she wrenched up her hands up, gripped his forearms and flipped him. The move was second nature given how many times she'd done it to Snotlout in the past and it worked perfectly. And if he had _been_ Snotlout then the fight would have been over. But he wasn't. Instead of falling Hiccup twisted in the air and skidded to a landing, metal foot screeching hideously against the stone floor. Astrid was out of arm's reach and whirled to escape but was yanked suddenly backwards, a sharp pain in her head making her screech in agony. Pulling cruelly on her braid Hiccup bent her into an arch then swept out a leg, scooped her own feet from under her and sent her crashing face-first to the floor. Dazed, she was flipped over and Hiccup threw his weight onto her, sitting on her hips and pinning her arms under his knees, metal foot digging sharply into her thigh.

"Got you." It was a triumphant growl. "Now stay still."

Hands gripped either side of her face and she bucked her hips wildly to dislodge him but he lifted her head and slammed it into the ground. Stars flashed and warm copper flooded her mouth as she bit her tongue.

"I said." he repeated, punctuating each word with a thud, "Stay. Still."

Gasping for breath and with blackness threatening to take over her vision, Astrid could do nothing else.

o0o

She'd failed. Astrid felt the truth sink in, greater even than the crush of Hiccup's weight above her, and tears of anger and frustration and anguish prickled her eyes, threatening to overflow. She'd almost had him but she'd failed, and she'd lost for both of them because while Hiccup was unquestionably angry, angrier than she'd ever imagined him, the poison fever still had him and would take him down. He was talking now, his eerie calm belied the vicious press of fingertips against her temples. She bit back a sob.

"Now then, Astrid. Are you done with spouting all that shit?" he asked, tone and smile a grotesque distortion of his normal charm. "I mean, it would have been all very interesting for sure, if only it had been true, but it wasn't, was it? Not one word. And do you know how I know?" He leaned closer to her face, voice dropping to an intimate sibilant murmur. "I know, because you love me. You love me. If it was true, then you wouldn't, but you do so it isn't. I know all that _yakshit_ isn't true, because _you love me_."

The conviction was on his face. Even through the wicked smile, the blood and the bruises it shined clearly, his last defence. His trust in her love for him. Her heart shattered into a million glass splinters and she screwed her eyes shut against it. Oh no, Sweet Freyja singing, just, no. Not this, Astrid cried silently, begging of any gods who might be listening please, of all things, not this. There was no answer except the sound of Hiccup's laboured breathing and the red hot press of fevered flesh. The bastards. So be it then, Freyja forgive her. Dizzy, sick and aching Astrid hardened her resolve against the screaming agony in her chest, balled her fists and scraped together the last shreds of her courage.

Opening her eyes she dragged in a breath, twisted and spat as best she could, blood dribbling trickling over her chin. "I don't."

"What?" he pulled her head straight again to face him. "Don't what?"

"I don't love you."

In other circumstances his expression would have been comical, eyebrows shooting up almost to his hairline. He let her face go and sat more upright, shaking his head. "Don't Astrid, don't even… That's ridiculous. Of course you do."

She shook hers as best she could, slowly, condescendingly. "Oh dear," she drawled "Look at the poor fool. You actually believed it didn't you? Every word. How funny. Really Hiccup, did you really think a woman like me would fall for a boy like you? Honestly? What did you have to offer? What's so wonderful about you?"

His smirk faltered a fraction as his brow furrowed. "Then why would you…?"

"Power," she answered. "I knew Stoick wouldn't live forever, I knew Berk would need a decent Chief and I knew that the Chief the tribe deserved was, well, me. How could I make sure that happened except by marrying the Heir? I figured I could easily take over control after the wedding was over with." She dredged up a giggle from some battered corner of her soul and hoped it didn't sound as false as she felt. "Of course it wasn't quite clear who that would be, what with you being so hilariously Useless, and I even had to keep your bloody cousin Snotlout in play for a while, so I have to say I was quite pleased when Toothless turned up and saved your reputation. I mean, you were a stringy streak of nothing much, but at least you were clean…Or did you never wonder why I didn't bother with you until _after_ you'd trained a night fury? Talk about oblivious."

Hiccup surged forward again, eyes gone dark colour rising. As he bent down one hand came to rest on the floor, the other across her throat. He snarled viciously " _Why_ are you saying that?"

Astrid fought down the panic threatening to overtake her. "Because it's true, muttonhead! Think about it, why would I lie to you now? You should be pleased, doesn't this make it easier for you to leave like you wanted? At least with you gone I'd be able to find myself a real man, I might take a look at E…Agh!" Her words were cut off as his fingers spasmed.

"No. That's not true. You do love me, all those times we've been together, all those nights..."

"Well," she coughed, "I guess some of it was sort of fun, but mostly, no, not really. I needed to snag the Heir of Berk, you were the Heir of Berk, so I had to keep you interested. What would have worked better? You're only a boy after all." Tears ran freely from the corners of her eyes, pooling on the floor below. Hiccup, blinded in rage and outrage didn't notice them.

"I don't believe you Astrid. I've had you screaming under me enough times…"

"Faked it."

"Faked?"

"Oh Gods! The ego on you!" Astrid managed to cackle, driven by terror into desperation as his hand tightened again. "Yes, Hiccup, faked!" Frantic, she called on every weapon she could imagine, screwed up her face in an approximation of bliss, "Ohhh, Hiccup, yes, oh, yes, nngh, fuck me, yes, Hiccup, you're so good, aaahhh…" abruptly snapping back she crowed again. "Seem familiar? Faked it! Faked everything in fact! Faked being interested in you, faked admiring you, faked enjoying your company, all of it." Astrid looked straight into those dark, dark eyes and with the dregs of her strength willed him to believe her. "Hiccup Haddock, I don't love you and I never did."

The noise was half shout, half sob and all pain. "It's not true. It's not true! It's! Not! _True_!" He screamed it over and over, saliva and agony drooling onto her face while his fingers squeezed relentlessly at her throat. She fought to drag in air, but there was almost none and her hands clawed uselessly at the ground. He was immovable.

"It's not true!" Totally lost in a madness of rage Hiccup stared wildly down at her, "Tell me Astrid." He cajoled, "Tell me that it isn't true and I'll let you go. Just say it isn't true."

His face swam in and out of focus and suddenly her mind gifted her a memory from years ago. Hiccup's face, younger, smiling, windblown, messy haired as always. "I can't imagine a world without you in it". The same held true now. Astrid had one last breath and she used it to gasp the only possible answer.

"Every. Single. Word."

She saw exactly the moment when he believed her. His face fractured, a light went out and instantly he looked years older. A shriek, something from the depths of Hel vomited up from his throat and every muscle in his body tightened impossibly, including the claw around Astrid's neck. She tried again to fight, to breathe, but her chest burned red and she felt herself go slack as the blackness crowded back in. One thought flitted across her failing mind, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry sweetheart, I tried".

Just as she resigned herself to meeting her Gods (and kicking their arses for allowing this shit), Hiccup's eyes rolled back in his head. Every one of his muscles slackened at once and he collapsed, toppling sideways and crashing into the hearth. Blessed air rushed into her lungs and Astrid sucked at it greedily. She could have lain on the floor forever and just breathed. But, Hiccup. Somehow she managed to roll and push herself up over to where he had fallen. A new line slashed his forehead but, mercifully he was breathing what seemed like normal, steady breaths. Tentatively Astrid laid a palm on his unbroken cheek and found him clammy, yes, but rapidly cooling. The fever had broken - he was going to live. Hiccup was going to live! For a second she knelt in stunned silence, then an insane joy flooded her veins making her grin hysterically. A laugh tried to escape but the sound that scratched out of her ravaged throat brought her up short. She was more than half choked and Hiccup was battered almost to a pulp with Thor only knew what injuries. It wasn't time for celebrations yet. Hauling herself to her feet Astrid hobbled across the tilting floor to the door and threw it wide into blinding sunshine.

"Gobber!" she croaked, hoping he was close enough to hear "Gobber! Get Gothi!" Her legs buckled under her, she went first to her knees and then fell full-length in the dust. "Gobber…" The last thing Astrid saw was a pair of feet; one shoe and one peg, racing across the arena. Then her eyes rolled shut.


End file.
